The Worst Father's Day (So Far)

It is mandatory quiet time in our house. That is because my poor husband, the father of my two dear children, has had perhaps the worst Father's Day ever. Not so awful in the grand scheme of things, but not the best in terms of the Facebook/Pinterest world in which we now live. Pastor Steve Furtick once said,

"The reason that we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel."

Our Facebook-worthy pic of our gloriously wonderful Father's Day

Let's go behind the scenes, shall we?

To start the day, our six-month-old black lab puppy began barking sometime around the six o'clock a.m. hour. So much for anyone sleeping in on Father's Day (nevermind the fact that I was also up at 4:45 a.m. with our semi-neurotic 11 year-old lab who thought he needed to go outside and hunt or whatever)! Matt said that he would "puppy-sit" since he is the morning person in our family. It's just not my gift, although I was willing to try it for him in light of the whole Father's Day thing. Not long after the puppy's awakening, our two little (human) cherubs bounded down the stairs...

It's Sunday which means... we go to church. If we are in town, not sick, and didn't attend a Saturday night service, we go to church. Pretty much always. My children seem alarmed and surprised by this. Every. Single. Week. Kid #1 planned ahead and was showered and ready at a reasonable time (evidently she learned from a devastating debacle a couple of weeks ago- and I learned that it takes time to get the "bumps" out of your ponytail, so give her fair warning). Her dear younger brother, however, alerted us to the fact that showering and church were not on his very busy six-year-old agenda... even on FATHER'S DAY! Cue the screaming and gnashing of teeth. We made it to church, but not without a detour. Okay, so it really wasn't a detour. It was an abrupt stop along the side of the highway during which Daddy informed the children that spitting water from their cups on each other was not okay and neither was complaining about having to stay in Lifekids (our children's church) while Mommy and Daddy served on the host team (Host Team: involves smiling and welcoming everyone as if our household didn't fight its way out the door this morning).

When we arrived at church, one of Grant's good buddies from school and his family were there visiting for the first time. GOD. BLESS. THEM. Seeing his friend, G seemed to turn his attitude around. Everything was peaches again. Fast forward an hour and forty-five minutes later. Daddy chooses our lunch spot, Freebirds (because, OH YEAH, It's FATHER'S DAY!!). Matt thought it would be quick, and allow us more play time at home. As you might be able to predict at this point, this was not somewhere G wanted to eat. Of course! Big sis wasn't on board at first, but when I reminded her of the day, she hopped on. After some nourishment, everyone seemed more even-keeled. Hallelujah!

We followed up our meal with a trip to Southern Ag to check out the leopard geckos because my little man has a birthday in just SIX DAYS! I guess I neglected to mention that the little guy seems to be having a bit of trouble giving Daddy a day when he has a birthday in just SIX DAYS! Did I mention that he has a birthday in just SIX DAYS? If I did, there is a little guy in my house who will be happy to share the news. Every hour or so.

What have we learned from today? Well, I think it has proven to reiterate what I decided a few Mother's Days ago. Lower the expectations. Every day is a gift, and we have two little blessings whom God entrusted to us EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. There are days when everything falls into place and we feel like Supermom and Superdad. And then there are the days when we find ourselves pulled over at the side of the road confiscating Tervis cups and we must remind ourselves that THIS, TOO, SHALL PASS. Just because it is Father's Day or Mother's Day doesn't mean that we get a break from parenting (Unless, of course, you are not around your children on said day. Six years ago, I informed Matt that the only thing I wanted for Mother's Day was an uninterrupted day of shopping. I spent five glorious hours away, bought only a pair of shoes, and returned ready to face another day of mothering my then three-year-old and 11 month-old.). I have learned that the kids didn't get the memo about not fighting on Father's Day. Neither did the dogs (I hear the puppy terrorizing her "big brother" as I write this). Someday we will laugh about this, right?!? Or at least pour a glass of wine, clink glasses, and congratulate ourselves on making it through another day.

Our pastor at Lifechurch.tv, Craig Groeschel, often speaks about how when God calls us to something, he often leaves out the details.  Why?  Because we simply couldn't handle them.  We couldn't handle the raw, unfiltered truth of parenting, so He spoonfeeds us over time. Our two-year-olds test authority because... hold your horses, parents, the teen years are coming! And we just couldn't handle them. Yet.

The truth is that with God and my awesome husband, we will get through this. I am so utterly thankful that he asked me to that high school Homecoming dance almost 21 years ago. I can't imagine a better father for my children or a better-suited partner for this journey. I love him because he fought for me when we were apart in college, because he chooses to work from home to be near us, because he pulls the car over to discipline our kids when needed, and because he loves on them daily in words and deeds. He is an incredible example of integrity, perseverance, and love for our children. He works hard and he plays hard, and we love him to the moon.

Happy Worst Father's Day, honey! Here's to next year!

A bit more accurate pic of how the day unfolded

P.S. As I was getting ready to post this, our puppy chewed up one of Grant's new Keens (shoes) while Anna was supposed to be watching Fern.  Anna was on her iPad.  So long, iPad. Gotta love parenting.  Did I mention that it's been raining all afternoon, as well????

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."
Psalm 127:3-5

Playing Catch-Up

Antigua, Guatemala

Wow! Well, I have been inspired to get back to blogging a bit about our crazy little family. As I read through the last blogs, I realized that it has been almost THREE YEARS since I last posted to this blog. Gracie, who now goes by Anna (but that's a whole other story) was just entering kindergarten. I was emotional at the thought of her starting school. Now, my "baby" has started school!

In a nutshell, this past year (I can't play catch-up for THREE YEARS!) brought the passing of my Grandma Nadine, my brother's marriage, and my kids starting 2nd grade (Anna) and GASP! kindergarten (Grant). Our kids received the first stamp in their passports as we traveled to Guatemala over spring break to go to Spanish school, sight-see, volunteer with the God's Child Project, and basically show our kids how the majority of the world lives. I'll be sharing more about all of these experiences, but that pretty much sums up the most important events.

Grant in His Wedding Tux

It just occurred to me that the last time I blogged was right before Matt was given the news that changed the course of his life. In November of 2009 he was given an ultimatum by his doctor, "You have six weeks to lose a few pounds, eat right, and get your blood pressure down. If that doesn't work, you are going on blood pressure medication." In typical Matt fashion, he proceeded to lose 40 pounds (in more than six weeks- no quick-fix, gimmicky diets allowed in the Bowler home). The man doesn't do anything halfway. I'm still deciding how I feel about this. :)

Sooooooo... in the course of running to lose weight he discovered that he is fast. Really fast. As in, he ran a marathon fast enough to qualify to run the Boston Marathon next year. He's also completed a half-Ironman (70.3 insane miles of swimming, biking, and running), and will most likely be completing a full Ironman in the near future. He has also poured himself into the creation of a "tri-team" with matching kits. Kits are the "outfits" that triathletes wear. It just makes me think of a baby fox. They hate it when we call them "outfits." To sum it up, we have created a monster. A very fit monster. One that convinced me to run a marathon with two amazing friends last January. But that's another story for another time.

Matt's First Marathon, My First Half

November 2010

Hopefully I'll make time to write again before 2015...

Loose Tooth!

We discovered this evening that Gracie has her FIRST loose tooth. She has been envious of her gap-toothed friends for some time now. Thus, when I suggested that perhaps the tooth she was telling me "hurt" might be loose, she was ecstatic! Her bottom right tooth is definitely loose, and she was still wiggling it in bed as I turned out the light in her room tonight. Ahhh.... so exciting for her, yet it brought with it an unfamiliar sense of sadness for me. The coupling of a loose tooth and beginning kindergarten (in a week and a half) might actually force me to accept that she is, alas, growing up. I didn't expect to be this sentimental about her leaving for school and becoming a "big" girl, but I am pretty sure I will come home after dropping her off at school next week and sob. She is growing into such a responsible, sweet girl. I am excited for her, but at the same time want to hover over her like a mama bear as I remember my own "growing up" years and the trials and triumphs yet to come. It sounds like I'll be asking God for a little extra help in the coming weeks, for both my Gracie Girl and myself...

Pictures, Finally

Cousin Addie and Gracie

One tired little man

Gracie, Daddy, and Grant having a good time "night swimming"

Grant and his upside-down Spider Man glasses

Daddy catching some air

Addie, Gracie, and Reese tubing

Daddy and Gracie wake boarding


Volleyball at the Family Reunion

Finally, we are home and I can upload some pics of our last trip to Missouri. The kids are VERY happy to be home. They have been playing well together, and Gracie even cleaned her room AND made her bed without being asked.

Grant told me more about "Honey" today. As I was putting him to bed he told me, "I love Honey." I thought he was referring to the dripping, golden kind. However, he then followed his statement by announcing that his beloved had fallen in the pond, went to the bottom, and was then eaten by a shark. FABULOUS! I asked him if the firemen or police came to get her out (I was trying to save poor Honey!) and he agreed that she had, indeed, been rescued. He also informed me that Honey sleeps with him, "Because I'm the daddy and she's the mommy." His active imagination is both entertaining and disturbing at the same time!

I've Been Everywhere, Man (sort of)

Well, it feels as though we have been traveling for weeks, rather than one week. We started this trip to MO with a stop in Shell Knob to stay with Matt's grandmother at her house on Table Rock Lake. The kids had a ball swimming in the lake. Grant has become MUCH braver in the water over the past several weeks. He no longer clings to us like an appendage. He will swim around on his own, and even jumps off of the swim platform AND the front of the boat (which even freaks Mommy out a bit). Gracie has become a wild woman on the tube, and will now wake board with Daddy. Daddy is even catching some air now! I am getting more comfortable with wake boarding, and have gotten back into knee boarding. I am NOT catching much air! I will post pictures soon, but I left the cord in Oklahoma. The kids also enjoyed feeding the foxes that frequent the land around Great Granny's house and riding around the island on Papa Ronnie's golf cart.

Our next stop was Branson for a family reunion with my Dad's side of the family. The weather was unusually cool for this time of year, which made our day at Silver Dollar City absolutely perfect! The kids rode The Great American Plunge with us. Grant immediately yelled out after we hit the water at the bottom of the plunge, "I DO NOT want to do that again!" Gracie remained a daredevil and went on Fire in the Hole with Papa Scott and I. She even wanted to ride a second time later in the day, but we ran out of time. We all got drenched on the toboggan ride, and had a "ball" playing in the kids' area at Geyser Gulch (shooting foam balls at each other). Gracie was in awe of the dancing girls at the saloon, and neither child was a fan of the "Baldknobbers" who "held up" the train. We also got to spend some quality, yet chaotic, time with my cousins and extended family. Grant enjoyed playing in the sand while the older family members played volleyball. Gracie was the designated "ball girl," a job which she took VERY seriously. :)

Alas, we are finally in Springfield now. The kids had a blast playing with their cousins last night until much too late. This morning, we went to see the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition house that is being constructed locally. It was amazing to see how it all comes together in only a week. It was also heart-warming to see so many people giving their money and time to help another family. The show happens to be one of the kids' favorites, so I am happy that they were able to see it in person. Grant, however, was seriously bummed that he did not get to see the demolition, which was closed to the public because they blew up the house! We can't wait to see it all come together on TV this fall!

We are thoroughly exhausted from our travels and look forward to being back in good ol' Jenks, America. However, I know that we have shared some incredible family time that will not soon be forgotten...

Grant is THREE!!!

I simply can not believe that my little Grant-Man is now three years old! I am feeling mixed emotions concerning his new "big boy" status. It seems that overnight he went from that little chubby, dimpled (and colicky) baby in the crib to a mini-man sleeping in a bunk bed and wearing Spiderman underwear. Thus, I am writing him a little note to remember the highlights of his third year of life.

My dear little Grant-Man,

You have been a spirited little guy since those first colicky cries three years ago. Your zest for life and enthusiasm for all things icky, dirty, and buggy have only intensified over the past year. I can only giggle as I imagine your daddy's face this week when you asked him while fishing, "Daddy, do worms turn into gum?" This week you have been caring for your first "pet," an Eastern-eyed Click Beetle. Remarkably, he has survived an entire week. You play with worms for hours, even dipping them in the watering can to give them "drinks." Mud draws you like a magnet, and the joy on your face is contagious.

Another favorite hobby of yours this year is throwing rocks into ponds or lakes. I will always remember your third birthday at Table Rock Lake. You awoke very early, so I took you on a walk. We hiked to the tip of the land, where it jutted out into the lake. You threw rock after rock into the water, mesmerized by the cascading ripples and jumping with excitement when you found a "weally big one." As you tired of tossing rocks, you walked over to where I was perched and sat down next to me. You then leaned over, wrapped your little arms around my waist and said, "Mommy, I love you." It was a magical moment, sitting there in the dewy morning air while taking in the glassy water with you, my sweet dinosaur-pajamaed boy. My baby may be gone, but what a loving "big" boy you have become.

Favorites: Your favorite books this year have been A Walk with Grandpa, The Great Honey Hunt, and all books related to diggers, tractors, and animals. Your favorite color is "balue", cereal is oatmeal, and meat is chicken. You love Bob the Builder and the movies Charlotte's Web, The Polar Express, and Mary Poppins. Your imaginary friend Bubba has been with us for most of the year. "Jah-Jah," your other friend, joined us recently. Tonight you announced to me that you also have a "honey," and that you are the "daddy."

My prayer for you in the coming year is that you will continue to pursue your curiosities, grow in your abilities to show love and compassion, and follow in the footsteps of your daddy as you grow in your faith in God and desire to help others. Following in your daddy's footsteps shouldn't be too difficult considering that you are rarely more than a half step behind him. The only time that Daddy is pushed aside in favor of Mommy is at bedtime. When Daddy asked you why you always want Mommy to put you to bed you told us, "Because Mommy's soft..."

Thanks for all of the "schnuggles," buddy. I love you!

Mommy

Remembering Grandpa

Frank Brown Tinsley

August 7, 1924- January 23, 2009

My grandfather, Frank Tinsley, passed away at the age of 84 on Friday, January 23, after a lengthy battle with Alzheimer's disease. We celebrated his life yesterday, and the love he shared with my grandma for 62 years. I am comforted by the knowledge that he is walking with Jesus today, pain-free, and singing "I'll Fly Away" (his favorite song). In his younger years he was a big guy who was never afraid to show his emotions... definitely a little sentimental at times. Even in his last week of life, he was still telling everyone "I love you." He loved to brag about his kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids, often met with the rolling of eyes I am certain. Like any of us, he had his faults. However, he remained committed to those things that matter most in life: his faith, his family, and his friends.

I am greatly saddened that I will never again hear him singing or playing his guitar. I will never get another phone call from him on my birthday describing how on the day of my birth he jumped from his bed at 5:36 am and shouted, "She's here!" Minutes later my father would call and report that I had, indeed, been born at exactly that time. My heart is also made heavy by the fact that I can no longer question him about the Great Depression, World War II, and a wealth of historical and familial knowledge and experiences. I must cling to what I have of him, and hug the rest of my family a little tighter... a little longer. This event has made it even clearer to me what the Bible says about coming to Jesus "with faith like a child." My own child, Gracie, seemed to understand better than any of us that Papa Frank was skipping around and happy in heaven with the biggest Papa of them all, God. He's waited a long time for this moment, and I know he will enjoy every minute of eternity... he deserves it.

We love you, Grandpa.