We Meet at Last

We first saw our little guy's chubby face on August 11, 2014. Almost 19 long months later, we got to meet the big personality behind the joyful giggle. Here is the story of that first day...

Friday, February 26, 2016

I'm not sure anything truly prepares you for the moment you meet your child. I can say that I was much more coherent and in a lot less pain when I met Tai than when I gave birth to my other children. Matt was genuinely concerned that I was not overjoyed at the prospect of holding dear Anna after pushing for three hours. Have mercy. I was vomiting and could barely hold up my own head to look at her. (She was gorgeous, of course.)

I tried to keep my expectations low for that first meeting. In all of the descriptions and videos we had of Tai, he was a very happy, outgoing little guy. However, we had no idea how or if his foster mother had prepared him for this day. We had no idea if his foster mom had prepared herself for this day.

We were in for a treat.

We hired a Canadian photographer named Greg to accompany us to that first meeting. We wanted to be fully present for Tai, but also wanted this huge day in his story (and ours) to be documented. Greg came to our hotel that morning to meet with us and take candid photos as we prepared for the day. It was a gorgeous morning in Seoul. Sun shining, blue skies with little smog, and only a light coat required. He shepherded us around the subways of Seoul to Eastern Social Welfare Society, giving us a quick tutorial of the carefully crafted and user-friendly system. Along the way, he gave us tips about Korean culture (speak quietly on the subway). I am so grateful that God gave us Greg that day. He greatly reduced our anxiety over getting to Eastern, and allowed us to soak up the new sights and smells of our son's home country.

When we arrived at Eastern (a little bit late- ACK!), we had to first fill out the online forms for Tai's visa. We were carefully walked through the process, and even got to see our cutie's South Korean passport. Seeing his passport was one of those "this is really happening" moments. 

The kids waited across the hall in the Eastern Cafe. Some of the moms who decide to keep their children are employed there through a program Eastern implemented to help these mothers. It is not easy being a single mom in South Korea. Having a baby out of wedlock is South Korea's scarlet letter.

Greg hung out with the kids, and then came to see us. He took photos of us completing the visa process and on one of the famous blue couches. Almost all of our updates each month featured Tai opening our care package or playing with a toy on one of the blue couches.

We were told that Tai and his foster mom were waiting for us up on the second floor. Cue internal freak out. We had been waiting for this moment for almost two years.

We climbed the stairs with our many gift bags, and then suddenly... there he was. I saw his foster mom whisk him toward us and then place him on the ground, excitedly pointing toward us and saying, "Appa, Omma!" He somewhat hesitantly took the last few steps to us, and then the rest gets kind of blurry. I'm sure I said, "Anyanghaseo" (Hi) or something to that effect. I know I got a little teary and that my first thought was, "Oh my goodness. He is so little." 

We were told to get on the elevator and go up to the third floor to the play room. Anna had the thought to try to record on her phone, so we have a blurry video of an excited little Tai running into the elevator, and then turning around and saying, "Appa..." He was telling us all to get in the elevator. We think he also said Omma, but the video cuts out and we were in shock.

Once in the playroom, we saw his bubbly, funny personality emerge. He loved taking all of the plastic fruit from the play kitchen and putting their velcro halves back together. A grape half could NOT be put together with an apple half. He would have none of it. He took joy in trying to then cut the halves apart with a plastic knife.

There were several times during his play when he would look at us the same way we were looking at him... a bit in awe by the fact that the people in the photos were here in the flesh. In a moment that will be forever burned into our memories, he looked up into Matt's eyes, pointed, and said, "Appa." And then, he smiled.

We brought out the soft Oklahoma City Thunder balls from our bag of tricks and began throwing and rolling them back and forth. He laughed and laughed. I could listen to that beautiful sound ALL. DAY. LONG. We learned that the word for ball is "gong."

Our little man seems to take great joy in being the center of attention. He enjoyed having one of us help him walk up the slide, and then someone else catch him at the bottom. Greg brought out his harmonica to get Tai's attention, and Tai wanted to play it, so he did. Well. We discovered that there is a harmonica in his foster home. We know that he loves his play piano, as well, so maybe there is hope for a musical Bowler after all! Matt definitely needs to brush up on his guitar and harmonica skills, and we will be keeping our piano (sorry, Matt).

We blew bubbles and colored briefly. He is a BUSY guy! It made my heart soar to see no physical or mental limitations. Occasionally (but rarely), parents arrive and discover a special need that requires attention. He will certainly have obstacles to overcome in his transition to his forever home, but we found no concerning "surprises." Thank you, Jesus! That said, no "surprise" could have lessened our love for him.

The social worker and Tai's foster mom stayed in the room for that first meeting. The social worker was able to translate questions that I wanted to ask his foster mom. She told us that Tai loves to listen to Matt's voice. She said that he looks at our pictures, wraps his arms around himself in a hug, and says, "Sarang hae." I love you. Melt. My. Heart. I received a list of Tai's food likes and dislikes. The only foods that were checked as "dislikes" were octopus, squid, and tomatoes. I can live with that. It also looks like I need to learn how to make seaweed soup.

Our time together flew by quickly. We were allowed to accompany him to the clinic in the building, where he was weighed and measured. Grant played "peek-a-boo" with him, which resulted in uncontrollable giggles. It was finally time to say goodbye, and we received some quick hugs. I even received a "po-po" (kiss).

We were completely drained, but high on emotions when we bid farewell. We looked to Greg and said, "I think that went pretty well." He nodded immediately. "Definitely. They can go either way, and I don't think they can get any better than that."

With that, we bid farewell to Greg until we return to take custody. We collapsed in a cab, and returned to our hotel... grinning from ear to ear.

The gifts for foster family, etc. are ready!

Anna getting ready in the hotel

The famous blue couches and toys

Sarang (Love)

"All Just to Get to You"

There is a song by Texas singer and songwriter Pat Green called, "All Just to Get to You." These are the events that transpired in the final hours "all just to get to" our sweet baby boy.

After leaving our house on Wednesday, February 24, around 5:15 a.m., we arrived at Incheon/Seoul Airport at 4:15 p.m. on Thursday, February 25. We were exhausted, but excited. The kids were traveling champs. Although Grant liked to complain about the 14 hour flight before and after the fact (who can blame him?), he never made a peep. He watched movies, ate, and slept. Not such a horrible life. After a brief mix-up that led us to get out of line for customs once we realized that even the kids had to fill out forms (not the case in the USA), we breezed our way through and waited for our driver from Eastern.

To make a long story short, there was some sort of miscommunication and a driver had not been sent. Later, a driver was sent for another family from Eastern whom we have since learned was stuck in customs for a loooooong time. After almost four hours of waiting, we told the driver (who was still waiting for the other family) that we would take a cab. He quickly waved us off and said, "No, no. I take you." The other family (bless their hearts!) finally ended up taking the train once they emerged from customs and realized that their driver had left. We were definitely feeling guilty for taking their driver, but were too drained to protest too much. After all, we were meeting our son in a little over 12 hours!

The painfully long wait in Seoul

The driver refused to take the customary gift that I offered upon arriving at the hotel after the hour-long ride. He had let us down, and he didn't feel he deserved it. We would soon learn that the entitlement mentality we are accustomed to in the United States is still blessedly absent in South Korea.

Our first night in Seoul was spent in two different rooms. Grant and Matt stayed in one, while Anna and I set up temporary camp in the other. Our original reservation began the next day, and when we added a day due to the huge savings on airfare by leaving the USA a day earlier, our room was booked. I believe that this actually worked out for the best. God knew that despite the excitement and anticipation, it might take a small amount of mountain-moving to get all of us ready in our required "business casual attire" and out the door in the morning. A divide and conquer approach proved quite effective.

When we reached our room, I still had to unload all of the gifts for the foster family, social worker, and visa coordinator. I wrapped them and prepared our clothes for the morning. I packed the balls, bubbles, balloons, matchbox cars, stickers, paper, and crayons in a bag for Tai. In the event that our meeting was not in one of the play rooms, we needed to be prepared. I finally fell into bed around 11:15 p.m. I slept like a baby, and awoke early the next morning... excitement coursing through my veins!

24 Hours

Here is the blog I posted on Facebook after we landed in Seoul...

February 24-25, 2016

Tulsa International Airport early in the morning

First flight to Dallas

The looooong flight to Seoul

I was told my blog might not let me post from Korea, annnnd... it won't post. Soooo... as we continue waiting in the Seoul airport for our driver (going on 4 hours now since we landed)... here is the blog I wrote during our flight today.

I posted this blog on Facebook with this guy in my lap at the Seoul/Incheon Airport

Trust. My word for the year is "trust." As I type this on my phone we have just crossed the International Date Line. We are cruising over the Bering Strait, preparing to fly over Russia and China, and will finally land this bird in South Korea. Every year I pray for God to show me where I need to focus and grow for the year. I have been intentional, present, and this year... I trust.

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters... wherever You would call me."

We began the adoption process two years ago. We were one of the Guinea pigs in our agency's new "Open Options" program. We knew we were called to adopt, but were having a hard time selecting a country. Open Options allowed us to be matched with ANY child, from ANY country or even our local DHS. Our philosophy was, "We'll go anywhere, God. Show us our child, and we will bring him/her home."

As we neared the end of the "open" portion of the process, we had still not been matched with a child. It was looking like we might actually have to choose a country. Matt and I prayed and agreed that we weren't really "feeling any connection" to the Asian countries, so we looked more closely at Haiti.

Bwahahaha! God has such a sense of humor. We just threw God the perfect pitch. Right in His strike zone (as if He needs one). I should know better than to give God the easy hit. Some of my other famous "strike zone" utterances: "I will NEVER drive one of those behemoth Suburbans like those other Texas moms," (We just sold the Suburban after 11 years... and bought a Yukon XL.) and Matt's favorite, "I am NOT moving to Oklahoma." This summer marks 10 years in Tulsa.

A little over 18 months ago we received the call that would change everything. As the cherubic eight month old cutie we now call Tai giggled and laughed at us from the computer screen, it was as if He and God had been in it together all along. Quite suddenly, we felt an undeniable, unexplainable connection to Asia. To South Korea. We knew we were looking at our son.

"Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander. And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior."

In exactly 24 hours we meet our son for the very first time. I am trusting God that our meeting will help prepare his little heart for what will be yet another loss in his young life. My spirit soars at the thought of finally holding his pudgy little hands and hugging him close to my heart, where he has been growing for the past two years. However, this will be hard. His foster mother may cry. She, too, is preparing for a great loss. His birth mother will be signing the final papers. Receiving word that he is going to live with his forever family. I pray that she knows that we will do everything in our power to enable him to live up to her hopes and dreams for him. I will most certainly cry.

Please join me in trusting God in this next step of faith.

Hugs from somewhere over Russia!

"So I will call upon Your name. And keep my eyes above the waves. When oceans rise... My soul will rest in Your embrace... For I am Yours and You are mine."

*Music lyrics from "Oceans" by Hillsong United