Click…click…click.
Can you hear it? As new parents, we’re told to hold on tight. We’re told that
this roller coaster of raising children from babies to 18 is going to fly by.
In the moment, we can only focus on getting a diaper changed while guzzling
coffee or staying up late as a child finishes yet another school project that
involves poster board and scissors and glue and… gasp! Glitter. We can’t focus
too far ahead. Instead we focus on the next curve, the next drop, the next
uphill climb of this coaster. But then suddenly, there it is. The click…click…click
of the coaster as it makes its way to the tippy top. The final climb before
that last, dizzying spin that ends in an abrupt stop, slamming body and brain
against the seatback. We often say after riding these coasters, “Wow! It’s
already over? That was crazy!” Or maybe, “We survived!”
Here
we are. High school. We have been coasting along for about 15 years, but we
just reached the top. The clicks have stopped. It’s time for the wildest,
fastest part of this ride. My sweet Anna, I don’t want to miss any of the next
four years, and I don’t want you to miss it either. It’s been awhile since I
put together a list of words of wisdom for you. You can review them here, if needed. J The last time, you were ten years old. Today
is your fifteenth birthday, and in honor of yet another five years passing, I
figure it is time to update the list. I couldn't limit myself to 15 since time is moving at warp speed, so I decided to double up. As promised in the first list… more about
boys, but also more about life.
1. Find
joy and meaning and purpose in every season of life...including this one.
2. But
don’t peak now. If you live to 80 years old, high school accounts for only 5%
of your life. You will have approximately 78% of your life LEFT to LIVE. I
have no doubt that when you graduate in four years, there will be a number of
achievements and accolades listed next to your name. Savor every moment, but know that some of your best moments, memories,
and achievements are yet to come... and probably won’t ever be listed next to
your name.
3. Don’t
communicate solely via social media or text. True, lasting relationships can
only be formed through meaningful conversations, preferably in person.
4. Be
very, very careful about what you put in writing or photograph, especially if
you send it to someone or post it on social media. That stuff never dies.
5. Don’t
believe everything you see or read on social media. About others AND about
yourself. Anyone can put a Bible verse in their bio. Get to know the person
behind the image. Lots of smiling Instagram photos mask a hurting young person
or adult longing for attention and real connection. The picture never tells the
whole story, and integrity can’t be gauged by the number of likes. I love that
you occasionally delete your social media accounts to refocus on what really
matters. Keep doing it.
6. You
may be embarrassed by some of the things you say and do in the coming years.
Try to THINK before you speak or act in order to keep these to a minimum.
T - is it True?
H - is it Helpful?
I - is it Inspiring?
N - is it Necessary?
K - is it Kind?
7. Apologize.
Learn the art of a good apology: I’m sorry. It’s my fault. What can I do to
make it right?
8. Find
a mentor, be a mentor, and always lead with kindness, grace, and integrity.
9. Popularity
is relative and fleeting. Treat it as such. Live for an audience of One. The
One who saw that the world needed an Anna, and breathed life into you.
10. Choose
social justice over social standing. At times, you will find yourself in a
position where the easy road means staying silent. Don’t. Use whatever social
standing you have achieved for the good of others. Be known for what and who
you stand FOR. You have been ridiculed in the past for defending some of your
peers deemed unworthy of your attention and inclusion. It will happen again.
Keep doing it.
One of my proudest moments as a mom was when you broke down in
tears before a class field trip in fourth grade. As you chose friends to be in
our group, you chose “that” girl. The one who talked incessantly, was honestly
pretty annoying, and didn’t seem to have many friends. Some of the girls did
not want her in our group. They took it out on you in vicious ways. As you
teared up before me, you sobbed, “But Mom, I just knew that if I didn’t pick
her, nobody else was going to do it.” We later found out that she was a foster
child. That little girl had endured enough rejection to last a lifetime.
“Speak up for those who cannot speak for
themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.”
~ Proverbs 31:8
11. Never
compromise your morals or principles to fit in with the crowd. You were made to
stand out. Sometimes even your closest friends may not stand with you. If you
are known as the weird Jesus girl who doesn’t do all of “that stuff,” so be it.
Once people learn where you stand, they usually stop asking you to join them for
the other stuff.
“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good
works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”
~ Matthew 5:16
12. “Regardless
of how anyone treats you, you stand to benefit. While some people teach
you who you do want to be, others teach you who you don’t want
to be. And it’s the people who teach you who you don’t want to be
that provide some of the most lasting and memorable lessons on social graces,
human dignity, and the importance of acting with integrity.” ~ Kari Kampakis
13. Pray
for your future husband. Maybe you’ve known him since elementary school, maybe
you just met him, or maybe you won’t meet him for another ten or fifteen years.
He’s out there, and he needs your prayers. Pray that God is grabbing hold of that
boy and wrecking him for the things of Jesus, grounding him in his faith, and
protecting his heart. Know that somewhere out there is a boy and his family who
are praying for you...they just don’t know it yet.
14. Good
relationships take work. As you grow to know someone on a deeper level, you
will see your significant other’s faults, and they will easily identify yours.
We are all imperfect and have bad days. True love means loving someone in spite
of their imperfections. In the words of Ruth Bell Graham, “A happy marriage is
the union of two good forgivers.”
15. Some
imperfections are relationship dealbreakers. Know the difference.
16. That
said, boys are slower to mature than girls. Much, much slower. But they get
there eventually. Mostly. Right now, they may want to pursue you, but don’t
really know how. They get better at this. Show a little grace and appreciate
the effort. They are just as nervous and unsure about all of this as you.
17. If
he doesn’t respect you, he doesn’t deserve you. Keep your standards high. The
right boys will rise to them. You’ll be amazed by what a boy will do to win you
over when he realizes your worth.
18. No
task is beneath you, no person less than or greater than you, and no dream too
big for you.
19. Laugh
until you cry every chance you get.
20. If
possible, don’t burn bridges, but know that toxic relationships must be
ended.
“If it is possible, as far as
it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
~ Romans 12:18
21. Trust
your gut. Your inner compass. The Holy Spirit guiding you or sending “Danger
ahead!” signals. It’s usually right.
22. When
that alarm bell sounds, you can always call or text us. Any time. Any hour.
From anywhere. We will drive anywhere at any time to keep you safe. Use the
“code phrase” if necessary. Again. I promise I’ll remember it this time.
23. Keep
traveling. You have now touched down in 13 countries on four different
continents. I know you want to visit at least one of the children we sponsor
through Compassion International. I know that Malaika would love to meet that
girl who writes her letters. We will make sure that happens. See the image of
God in every face you meet, no matter how different their life or beliefs might
be from those you hold sacred.
24. Your
empathy and compassion for others are two of your greatest gifts from God. I
used to be a little concerned when, as a little girl, you didn’t want to watch
the princess movies because they were too scary and you felt ALL of the main
characters’ feelings. A counselor assured me, “What your daughter has is a
gift. The gift of extreme empathy. It is actually pretty rare, and you have
nothing to fear. Some children are not only academically gifted, but also
emotionally gifted. Those who can feel the pain of others often do great
things.” Guard your heart, but don’t be afraid to feel all of the feelings.
Loving big is fearless and brave.
25. Read,
study, and memorize scripture. You will never have as much time as you do right
now to dig into God’s word and tuck it deep in your heart. Let those roots take
hold. When the storms come (and they will), you will find that God’s truths
will steady you. The verses I memorized as a young girl are the ones that
immediately come to mind in times of trial.
26. The
words you speak can bring life or death. Speak life. Always. If you think
something positive about someone, say it.
27. One
poor decision can change the course of your life. So can one huge leap of
faith.
28. God
isn’t going to let your minor setbacks interfere with His plan for your life.
In fact, He might just use them to build your character and bring His plan to light.
A disappointing test grade won’t matter in five years, and probably not
in five days. Try to keep an eternal perspective when life doesn’t turn out
exactly how you planned.
29. You
have always been very selective when it comes to who you allow into your inner
circle, but I have to say it: Choose quality over quantity...in friends, in
boys, in perfume, in running shoes. Five crisp one hundred dollars bills are
worth far more than one hundred pennies in your pocket. And they won’t drag you
down.
30. Run hard toward Jesus and toward those He has called you to love. At some point,
while you are running your race, you may notice a young man running alongside
you in the same direction. You might recognize him. You might not. Rest assured
that God’s timing is always perfect, and that He is always, always working to
bring His plan to fruition. God has placed you in this place, at this moment in
time, to do great things and point others toward Him. Run your race, girl. You
were born to run.
“Perhaps
you were born for such a time as this.”
~
Esther 4:14
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